I'm Different

I wasn't like everyone else, I was different. I wasn't the kind of person they were making me out to be. All I wanted to do was work, have a little hobby, feed my family and provide for their needs. I wanted to have a loving family, and eat supper at the table, and all the things that one would be and do. The only other thing other than that was I wanted to drink. Love peace, prosperity, work, good school grades, happy smiling faces, and alcohol.

I wanted it all and did seem to have it, for awhile, at least. I kept up the charade for many years, until I got drunk and wrecked the car with my family inside. It is a thousand wonders no one was hurt, and I did thank the Lord for that, right after the next drink. You see, I wasn't like that. I wasn't like the other drunks running around. I was different. I didn't have a problem with drinking. Nobody was fighting like on "Cops". I didn't get drunk and go crazy and forget everything. I wasn't one of those people.

So there I was. On probation just like those losers I have met at the lake, getting drunk and talking about how much a DWI was a drag. There I was, at some kind of meeting, ordered by the judge, listening to all those people whining about how alcohol has wrecked their lives. It's a good thing that I wasn't like them. I despised those meetings. I wasn't like them. I was different. I didn't like them stuffing their Christianity down my throat. I didn't like them trying to get me to talk to them. They couldn't understand me. I just went back home, kissed my wife, played with my kids, put them to bed, and got drunk.

You see, they got drunk because they were weak individuals.
They kept drinking because they had to have it. They couldn't resist it. I kept drinking because I wanted to. I was different. I fooled them all. I kept my private life to myself.

I met a group of people at work attending a little prayer group during break, and felt compelled to join in. I guess any Christian would. I remembered the Master saying something like "Deny Me before men, and I'll deny you before the Father." I thought I was still a Christian, since I walked down the aisle when I was nine. Never mind that I still drank, that was my private life. I just didn't talk about it, so it didn't exist. So, I began to meet every day, and spill my guts to God right there in front of other people. I had to be careful of what I would say, because people had no business knowing me. The more I prayed, the more I wanted to say. It was kind of compulsive.

There was one member whom I felt I could confide in though. This was very foreign to me,because (like I said) nobody had any business knowing me or my doings. We would discuss many things about my private life over the next few months. At first there were the questions. My question. I had studied many (and I do mean many) religions over the years, and I wanted to know what made Christianity the true religion. I mean, I thought prayer to any god (no capital) was sufficient, it is a theory called "Universalism", where all religions are right and all people (except Hitler and Charlie Manson, etc.) are going to Heaven.

I began to pray for a real understanding of the Holy Trinity, and to feel the effects of Him. I felt Him and it was a trip unlike any subatance I had ever embraced. It left me wanting another "high". I learned very quickly that I could achieve another feeling of the Holy Spirit by giving up another part of myself and to Him. Sort of like a junkie giving up the things he really loves for another hit, the only real big thing I had to offer was the truth about me and drinking. It was really worth the knowledge I received, and the Holy Spirit gave me a real feeling of a "high".

Next, I began to see the change in my family. I never saw a change in me, but I have heard about it.

Now, I'm not like everyone else, I AM DIFFERENT. I'm not the kind of person they're making me out to be. All I want to do is work, have a little hobby, feed my family and provide for their needs. I want to have a loving family, and eat supper at the table, and all the things that one would imagine a regular family would be and do. The only thing other thing that I want is to please my Master. Love, peace, prosperity, work, good school grades, happy smiling faces, and my LORD.

A CHRISTIAN BROTHER